Married... with Children (TV Series)

Bearly Men (1995)

Tim Conway: Ephraim Wanker

Photos 

Quotes 

• Ephraim Wanker : We gotta track that bear down.

  Kelly Bundy : Hey, you guys, I saw this documentary once where the park ranger captured the bear by putting out a picnic basket.

  Bud Bundy : Kel, did this documentary perhaps take place in Jellystone National Park?

  Kelly Bundy : Yeah, did you see it too?

• Al Bundy : [examines some empty bottles]  He's close.

  Ephraim Wanker : How can you tell?

  Al Bundy : 'Cause no human could possibly drink more than one Zima.

• Ephraim Wanker : [after Al and Bud beat up a street gang]  Wow, that was really something.

  Al Bundy : Thanks, Ephraim.

  Ephraim Wanker : Eh, see you.

  Al Bundy : See you? What do you mean, "see you"? Well, we're going back to the house and collect your wife.

  Ephraim Wanker : Oh, I-I-I'm not gonna do that, Al.

  Al Bundy : Well, what do you mean you're not gonna do it, Ephraim? Didn't I prove to you that I'm a real man?

  Ephraim Wanker : Yeah, but you also proved that I'm not one. Until I can be a man just like you, I don't deserve a little bride like Mama.

  Al Bundy : Wait a second, Ephraim. You're the most courageous man I know. Why... Why, you've seen that woman naked and y-you're still around to tell about it. Hey, I seen her in a nightie one time, my pupils are still dilated.