Married... with Children (TV Series)

If Al Had a Hammer (1991)

David Faustino: Bud Bundy

Photos 

Quotes 

• Bud : [Bud is explaining his new identity]  My story is that I'm a bad boy rapper from the streets of New York and I am hiding out in Chicago because I killed a man or spray painted a tree or an old man or something.

  Peggy : Excuse me but isn't that the plot of 'The Fresh Prince of Bel Air'?

  Bud : Yes, but that's an NBC show, so who would know?

• [Bud has decided to become a rapper] 

  Bud : Goodbye, Bud Bundy; hello Grandmaster B.

  Kelly : What does the B stand for?

  Bud : 'Brother of an idiot'.

• Kelly : Don't be so hard on yourself, Bud. I bet there are plenty of cool guys who sit home on Friday night watching 'Star Trek' reruns hoping to catch a glimpse of Klingon cleavage.

  Bud : Let the record show that I was licking the screen in an attempt to clean it.

• Al : That's what's wrong with this country, Peg; everytime something tears up, we call someone to fix it. Not like Grandpa Bundy; there was a fixin' man.

  Bud : You mean Grandpa Hook?

  Al : Well, circular saws were new then. But he carved his own hook; he didn't call anybody!

  Peggy : It would have been hard for him to hold the phone with the one finger he had left on his other hand.

  Al : One finger is all a real American needs, Peg.