Married... with Children (TV Series)

Spring Break: Part 1 (1996)

David Faustino: Bud Bundy

Quotes 

• Marcy : Girls like that are just cheap one-night stands. You all should be developing full, trusting relationships like I have with my Jefferson, who even now is away at computer camp trying to better himelf.

  Bud : Uh, Mrs. D'Arcy...

  [Bud gestures to the TV where Al, Griff and Jefferson are mingling with blondes in bikinis] 

  Marcy : [enraged]  Road trip! Destination: Fort Lauderdale!

  Bud : Goal: swift and terrible revenge!

  Achmed : But there is a blizzard outside and all the roads are closed.

  Marcy : I drive a Benz, and I am pissed off!

• Bud : This is our big chance to score. Now, the ratio of girls to guys at spring break is 6 to 1.

  Barney : But that's the same ratio of girls to guys at our college and we don't score there.

  Barney : That's because those girls know us already. See, these girls will be total strangers and they'll be really drunk.

• Bud : We are flying to Fort Lauderdale,

  Achmed : And staying in one very cool hotel room overlooking the beach, where large-breasted girls will be arching their backs to make their breasts seem even larger. We will be thinking of you when we are rubbing oil on large breasts.

  Kelly Bundy : Yeah, maybe Hummer's.

  Hummer : At least mine are real.

• Bud : So Ashley, you really want to spend spring break with me down in my basement?

  Ashley : Nothing turns me on more than a guy who lives in his parents' basement.

  Bud : I knew it would pay off.

  Ashley : But first I'll have to get my insanely jealous boyfriend out of town.

  Bud : I'll kill that sucker.

  Ashley : No, because if you did, then I'd have to take time away from us to wear black panties to his funeral. And you know how I hate to wear panties, Bud.