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Quotes
The Desperate Half-Hour
Married... with Children
Edit
Starla
: I ought to beat you up.
Bud Bundy
: Do you mind putting on a nightie first.
Bud Bundy
: Dad, Starla and I need some privacy. She's gonna do a body search and uh... I've hidden things.
Starla
: Now we're gonna need some food for the road. You
[
points gun at Peggy
]
Starla
: go cook us something.
Peggy
: You animal!
Starla
: Now listen up, Pigs! I want a car to the airport, I want a plane to Brazil, and $50000 cash!
Al Bundy
: I demand the same thing.
Griff
: And I need more Mountain Dew.
Peggy
: Al, I'm afraid. Hold me.
Al
: Peg, Peg, my life's in danger here! It's important I maintain my will to live!
Starla
: You told me you lived in a French provincial estate. My cell is nicer than this dump!
Peggy
: [
Starla shoots the TV remote out of Al's hand
] Oh my God!
[
Peggy shoves Al out of the way
]
Peggy
: My Baby!
[
Peggy picks up the shattered remote
]
Peggy
: Oh Why? Why? Why?
Al Bundy
: Didn't you see the "Help" sign I hung out of the bathroom window?
Griff
: Al, you've been hanging "Help" signs ever since I've known you.
Peggy
: Oh Al, our little girl is getting married. Isn't life wonderful?
Al Bundy
: [
to the shoehorn that stopped the bullet and saved his life
] Damn you!
Lonnie
: No matter whose wife I am in prison, I'll always be your husband.
Peggy
: Daddy's our secret weapon.
Kelly
: Yeah, if he leaves the bathroom door open.
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