"Married... with Children" The Desperate Half-Hour (TV Episode 1997) Poster

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8/10
The Family Held Hostage!
Sylviastel10 December 2009
Oh who would have guessed that this episode would have been the third to last episode of a long run. Well, this two part episode has Kelly fall in love with dim-witted Lonne, the boyfriend of Starla (played by veteran actress, Tricia Cast), who happens to be Bud's prison pen-pal. You can only imagine what Bud has written to her about the French provincial home and the family Porsche. When she remarks "My cell is nicer than this dump?" and Bud tries to say that he wrote to make him and his family good enough for her. So Starla and Lonne arrived but she escaped from prison and is holding up the Bundys and their guests hostage. Of course, it's ruining Al's night to watch Death Wish 6 in 3-dimensional and his buddy, Griff. The Rhoades are dressed up as Mary and her little lamb. It's quite an episode. When Starla ask for demands, Al replies "Me too." Oh, Kelly and Lonne fall in love.
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1/10
The worst episode of the series
poppa_pump228 December 2018
Warning: Spoilers
I don't count Top of the Heap and Radio Free Trumaine as actual episodes since those two were intended to jump start spinoff shows.

That said, this episode was really cringey and ruined by the Starla character. Considering there was never a supporting character portrayed like this one in the 11 years the show was around, I would guess the manner in which this character was portrayed was a result of bad decision making by the actress.

Oddly, the series regular were on top of their game here which made Starla stand out even more in a negative light. I say "oddly" because her performance was so bad and out of sorts for this show that I can't believe the others were able to overcome it.
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The writers should do time.
BA_Harrison17 January 2023
One can sense that the regular cast knew the end was nigh; this episode reeks of both desperation and indifference, if such a thing is possible. Everyone overacts horribly, none of the intended funnies having the desired effect.

Bud's jailbird penpal Starla escapes from prison and pays the Bundys a visit with the intention of robbing them. However, not only has Bud lied about being a Brad Pitt-alike, but he also told porkies about living in a French provincial home. Starla holds the family hostage (as well as the D'Arcys, who show up in fancy dress), aided by her moronic boyfriend Lonnie.

With the police surrounding the house, Starla decides to start offing the hostages, beginning with Kelly, who Lonnie has fallen for. As Starla is about to shoot, Lonnie rushes her and the gun goes off, the bullet hitting Al...

The standard of gags in this episode is really low, the absolute nadir being when Lucky the dog is sent to get help, but comes back with what looks like a stem of corn in his mouth. "I said cops, not crops!" says Al. Just terrible.
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