- Rhoda Morgenstern: [as Mary's in the dressing room, putting on an outfit, Rhoda picks up a small gift book, and starts to read it, aloud] Hey Mary, listen to this: 'A friend is someone who's friendly'
- [the salesgirl walks past Rhoda, who gives her a look then walks away, as Rhoda goes back to reading it, dramtically]
- Rhoda Morgenstern: 'A friend is someone who's friendly
- [Rhoda turns the page]
- Rhoda Morgenstern: Even when it's raining
- [Rhoda turns the page]
- Rhoda Morgenstern: Even when it's nighttime
- [Rhoda turns the page]
- Rhoda Morgenstern: Even when it's snowing
- [Rhoda turns the page]
- Rhoda Morgenstern: Even when it isn't'.
- [Rhoda slams the little books shut]
- Rhoda Morgenstern: Three-fifty.
- Beck Wilson: Hey, Rhoda, don't go yet. We could go downtown and goof on people.
- Rhoda Morgenstern: Goof on people? What's that?
- Beck Wilson: You know. Walk around, act weird, hope somebody notices.
- Rhoda Morgenstern: That's my life, kid.
- Rhoda Morgenstern: [Mary's cooking dinner for Stephen- her soon-to-arrive, and of-undermined age date. Rhoda asks Mary if Stephen's age bugs her] Listen, there are ways to find out his age.
- Mary Richards: [Mary's doorbell rings] How?
- Stephen Linder: [From outside Mary's apartment door] Can I come in? The wine and me have to be served at room temperature.
- Rhoda Morgenstern: [Mary walks towards her door, with Rhoda behind her] If the wine has a cute name, he's under 30.
- [Mary opens the door. Stephen's standing there, holding a bottle of wine]
- Mary Richards: [They all say 'hello' to each other, and Stephen hands Mary the bottle of wine] Thank you.
- Rhoda Morgenstern: [Looking over Mary's shoulder at the wine bottle] 'Grandma's Apple Pizzazz'.
- Mary Richards: [Mary's looking at a rack of clothes in Shot Down, in Ecuador, Jr., insisting she'll find a *hip-looking* outfit to wear to Stephen's house party, Rhoda - thinking Mary's totally wrong about it all, tries - tactfully - to dissuade her best friend] I've got to find something to wear to the party Stephen's taking me to.
- Rhoda Morgenstern: But I like the stuff in your *regular* places. Usually, *you* like the stuff in your regular places.
- Mary Richards: I'm having trouble finding my size.
- Rhoda Morgenstern: Oh, Mary, this place doesn't use anything as mundane as *sizes*. These clothes are divided according to astrological signs. You, my dear, take a *bull*.
- Mary Richards: [Mary and Rhoda walk into Shot Down In Ecuador, Jr, The * hip* clothing store Mary thinks she'll find an outfit to wear to Stephens party Mary starts looking at stuff on a rack, and pulls a top down to look at] Hey, this is kind it's cute, don't you think?
- Rhoda Morgenstern: Marry, I hate this store. I mean, it's trying too hard. I like a store that's happy to just lie there, and rip me off.
- Rhoda Morgenstern: [after Stephen invites Mary to a party at his place, she takes Rhoda along to a *'hip* clothing store - even though Rhoda's against it all. As Mary's looking at stuff on a rack, Rhoda tries to ask the salesgirl about the store's *unique* name] Miss; what's the name of this store?
- Salesgirl: [Acting totally disinterested in everything but the book she's reading, she mumbles almost silently to Rhoda] 'Shot Down in Ecuador, Junior'.
- Rhoda Morgenstern: What? I can't hear you.
- Salesgirl: [the salesgirl looks directly at Rhoda and speaks in the wrong way one thinks you'd talk to a foreigner or hard of hearing person; slowly, and over-enunciating each word] 'Shot - Down... in Ecuador, Junior'.
- Rhoda Morgenstern: What does that mean?
- Salesgirl: Well, you know;
- [Rhoda shakes her head 'no']
- Salesgirl: hey.
- [Smiling facætiously]
- Salesgirl: I just work here, you know?
- [Rhoda smiles - facætiously - back, and walks towards Mary]