- Mary Richards: I've been around, well - alright, I might not have been around, but, I've been nearby.
- Mary Richards: Celestine, can I get you something?
- Celestine: Oh, no, thanks, I got these.
- [Addresses Francine]
- Celestine: Hey, you want some?
- Francie: Sure, I love reds.
- Mary Richards: Uhhhhhhhhh...
- Celestine: [Interreupting Mary's stammer] Oh, I'm sorry - would you like some?
- Celestine: Listen, um, girls - what you do on your own is one thing, you know, but, when you're here, I'm afraid I'm going to have to put my foot down, I'm sorry, but, uh, I just don't go for that kind of thing.
- Celestine: You don't go for... TicTac's?
- Mary Richards: Yeah, well, you know...
- [Mary flips a Tic-Tac in the air, and catches it in her mouth]
- Mary Richards: .
- Mary Richards: [Mary's on the phone with the Big Sister program] Hello, ths is Mary Richards, and I would like to talk to someone about getting a little sister... right, I think I should mention that I haven't had a whole lot of experience in this area, and I was sort of wondering if you had a girl who hasn't done uh... well, a girl, you know who hasn't been... listen; would you have a girl who's just sort of cranky?
- Murray Slaughter: So: how did things work out at the Big Sisters?
- Mary Richards: Terrific! They put you through a kind of screening process, and, uh, I guess I passed, 'cos I've got a little sister!
- Murray Slaughter: Ah - what's she like?
- Mary Richards: Well we were just sort of introduced, so, we didn't get a chance to talk, but, she's 15, bright, cute as a button, and out on probation for shoplifting.
- Sue Ann Nivens: What was the name of this group, Mary?
- Mary Richards: The Big Sisters.
- Sue Ann Nivens: The big sisters that would be the perfect thing for me to clinch the award and I'd be wonderful at it, because, I had an ideal relationship with my own sister. And it wasn't easy; naturally, she resented being the ugly one.
- Mary Richards: I had to mention the Big Sisters, didn't I? Now, because of me, some poor underprivileged kid is going to be forced to learn how to cook a quiche
- Ted Baxter: Hey Murray. Murray; where's my money?
- Murray Slaughter: Uh, in my top left-hand drawer, Ted.
- Ted Baxter: Is that camera left, or 'real' left?
- Murray Slaughter: Left, Ted.
- Ted Baxter: It's not here, Murray.
- Murray Slaughter: What do you mean it's not there?
- [growing concerned]
- Murray Slaughter: It's got to be there - I just put it there, before lunch!
- [after Murray rummages though the drawer]
- Murray Slaughter: It's not there!
- Ted Baxter: Somebody stole my money!
- Mary Richards: Oh, Ted, that's ridiculous. Oh, oh, I know what you're thinking, well, you're just wrong! Francine doesn't steal money from desks! She happens to be a shoplifter!
- Sue Ann Nivens: [Mary & Sue Ann are setting up for their Little Sisters, Francine & Celestine to join them at Mary's for dinner] Oh, Celestine & I are having such fun together! Last night, we went to a double feature: Shaft and Super Fly. It was wonderful watching them stick it to the honkies!
- Mary Richards: [In Mr. Grant's office, right after Mr. Grant lectured Francine about returning an item she'd just stolen] Well, how hard could it be to do something like that, right? Just, walk in, and say 'I'm sorry, I made a mistake, I don't need this, I don't want this, please take it back.'
- Lou Grant: Good Mary. Now just remember that, when you take back the helicopter.
- Ted Baxter: [after handing Ted his money back after finding out it was indeed Francine, who stole it from Murray's drawer] So; she stole it, huh?
- Mary Richards: Yes, Ted.
- Ted Baxter: [Smugly] I was right, huh?
- Mary Richards: [Trying not to play Ted's game] Yes, Ted, you were right.
- Ted Baxter: [Smug] You were wrong.
- Mary Richards: [Beginning to get irked] Yes, Ted, I was wrong.
- Ted Baxter: [Trying to emphasize he was correct] I was right, and you were wrong.
- Mary Richards: Yes, Ted, you were right, and I was wrong.
- Ted Baxter: [Again trying to emphasise he was right] You were wrong, and...
- Mary Richards: [Exasperated] Ted, I was wrong and...
- Ted Baxter: [shouting] Alright, alright, Mare, let's not dwell on it