Midsomer Murders (TV Series)
Dead in the Water (2004)
John Nettles: DCI Tom Barnaby
Photos
Quotes
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[Barnaby joins Scott in the surveillance post]
Sergeant Dan Scott : Why are you here sir?
DCI Tom Barnaby : It's a generational thing, Scott. I've brought you some cake... and some coffee.
Sergeant Dan Scott : Oh.
DCI Tom Barnaby : I thought you might have grown a tad peckish.
Sergeant Dan Scott : Thank you sir. I'm going to try and eat it before the relief turns up.
[begins to eat]
Sergeant Dan Scott : Did Mrs. Barnaby make this?
DCI Tom Barnaby : [in a grave tone] Oh, I wouldn't do that to you, Scott.
[Scott chuckles, and takes a big bite of cake]
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[DCI Tom Barnaby and Sergeant Dan Scott are stopped by a riverbank]
DCI Tom Barnaby : How do we get across, Sergeant?
Sergeant Dan Scott : Well, one of us is going to have to row, sir.
[under his breath]
Sergeant Dan Scott : And the smart money's on me.
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Philip Trent : Murder? Are you sure?
DCI Tom Barnaby : Well, I don't think he hit himself on the head, Mr Trent.
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[last lines]
DCI Tom Barnaby : [to a rat] Thank you.
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[DCI Tom Barnaby and Sergeant Dan Scott set up a surveillance post in the Stevens' house]
Mr Stevens : So, what's the form?
Sergeant Dan Scott : Uh, well there'll be someone here, round the clock, starting this evening.
DCI Tom Barnaby : I expect Sergeant Scott'll want to take the first watch.
Sergeant Dan Scott : [dejectedly] Oh yes. Of course...
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[Barnaby and Scott are in Barnaby's Rover 75]
Sergeant Dan Scott : Where are we going sir?
DCI Tom Barnaby : To see Mr. Cooke with an "e".
Sergeant Dan Scott : Oh, good!
[cracks his knuckles]
Sergeant Dan Scott : [Barnaby takes notice of what Scott has done, and pulls the car off the main road]
Sergeant Dan Scott : What's wrong?
[Barnaby stops the car, and sets the parking brake with authority]
DCI Tom Barnaby : [speaks in a low, serious tone] Scott, there will be no violence on my watch.
Sergeant Dan Scott : No, I was just, um...
DCI Tom Barnaby : [cutting Scott off] None whatsoever.
Sergeant Dan Scott : Yes sir.
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[DCI Tom Barnaby is at home, watching a confiscated pornographic videotape, when Joyce Barnaby enters]
DCI Tom Barnaby : I think you're a bit young to be watching this.
Joyce Barnaby : Where's this come from?
DCI Tom Barnaby : This?... Um... Some oik is using this to blackmail one of our suspects. Suspect playing the lead.
[Tom and Joyce Barnaby crane their necks in unison, following the on-screen action]
Joyce Barnaby : Is that him?
DCI Tom Barnaby : That's him.
[They continue watching with rapt attention]
DCI Tom Barnaby : Early night?
[Joyce giggles]
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Philip Trent : Been any help, Inspector?
DCI Tom Barnaby : Oh, most things people tell us are of help, Mr Trent - even if they don't mean them to be.
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[first lines]
DCI Tom Barnaby : Oh no. The world and his wife's here.
Cully Barnaby : Kind of the idea, Dad. Couple of drinks, though, and you won't notice them.
Joyce Barnaby : [referring to passing yacht] Now that's the sort of thing, Tom. Only maybe more old-fashioned and stylish.
DCI Tom Barnaby : Yeah, that'll be it. Your mother thinks I need to relax more; weekends on the river, our own boat perhaps.
Cully Barnaby : It's a good idea. D'you know, there's loads for sale in the local paper.
DCI Tom Barnaby : Is this a conspiracy? In my job you get ten years for that.
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Dr Bullard : [indicating the corpse] I'm taking him back to the lab, Tom.
DCI Tom Barnaby : Any initial thoughts?
Dr Bullard : Yes, he's dead!
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Cully Barnaby : Right, the home team. Furthest from us: Midsomer Rowing Club Veterans.
DCI Tom Barnaby : [puts opera glasses to his eyes] They're not veterans! They're half our age! Joyce!
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Clare Bonavita : [discussing the victim, Guy Sweetman] You know, Guy really did live up to his surname. He was the sweetest man.
DCI Tom Barnaby : Well, whoever killed him disagreed with you.
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Clare Bonavita : You know, Guy really did live up to his surname. He was the sweetest man.
DCI Tom Barnaby : Well, whoever killed him disagreed with you.
Clare Bonavita : Yes. Some irate husband or jealous boyfriend, no doubt.
DCI Tom Barnaby : Anyone particular in mind?
Clare Bonavita : Well, no. Guy didn't so much play the field as the entire countryside.
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Sergeant Dan Scott : What about the press?
DCI Tom Barnaby : Press? Avoid them.
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DCI Tom Barnaby : Get a team to Morton Shallows. Search the whole length of the village. If there's any signs of struggle along the riverside, people who saw anything, the murder weapon...
Sergeant Dan Scott : I do know the drill, sir.
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Philip Trent : Now look here, Inspector. Guy Sweetman was a friend of mine, a damn good one. But the last thing he'd want is for his death to get in the way of this regatta. We've got a hell of a program to get through.
John Parkway : I think what he means, Inspector, is, well, like you, we have a duty to perform to the 4,000 or so people who've come for a day out.
DCI Tom Barnaby : Why should a piffling little murder get in the way of that?
Philip Trent : Precisely. Murder? Are you sure?
DCI Tom Barnaby : Well, I don't think he hit himself on the head, Mr. Trent. Don't worry, you'll get your regatta back as soon as possible.
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DCI Tom Barnaby : This is my way of apologizing for yesterday. You don't mind if Scott joins us, do you? I'm trying to domesticate him.
Joyce Barnaby : No, not at all.
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DCI Tom Barnaby : If your good friend had been murdered, Scott, would you look so cheerful about it?
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Philip Trent : Been any help, Inspector?
DCI Tom Barnaby : Oh, most things people tell us are of help, Mr. Trent. Even if they don't mean them to be.
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DCI Tom Barnaby : Clare Bonavita said that Sweetman lived up to his name. Pity Mrs. Sharpe does not live up to hers.