Midsomer Murders (TV Series)

The Straw Woman (2004)

John Nettles: DCI Tom Barnaby

Quotes 

• [talking about alternative medicine and its remedies] 

  Scott : People pay for stuff like that?

  Barnaby : Things you buy from a proper chemist - they're just a purified version.

  Scott : Oh sure. "Doctor, it's my throat." "Never mind, madam. Suck a frog three times a day after meals."

• [last lines] 

  Kate Malpas : Do you know why that pub's called 'The Oak'?

  Barnaby : No.

  Kate Malpas : Used to be an old tree in that spot. The first Katherine Malpas was hanged there, with all the other so-called witches.

  Barnaby : Hanged?

  Kate Malpas : There were no witches burned in this village; only straw women. Still, everyone loves a good bonfire, eh.

• Barnaby : George, if this is only O level chemistry, then anyone can do it, can't they? And they can get the chemicals from any school laboratory.

  Dr Bullard : Well, pity the youth of today, Tom. Health and Safety wouldn't let them near it in a million years.

• Scott : You know Hopkins, then?

  Barnaby : Indeed I do, professionally. She's a magistrate.

  Scott : Sounds like it's Clifford she wants on top of the bonfire.

  Barnaby : Yeah, well, she was always a bit of a hanger and a flogger.

  Scott : She should work for Clifford. People will pay good money for that sort of thing.

• Barnaby : Don't tell me. You wish you had a teacher like that when you were in school.

  Scott : Well, I might have done better if I had.

• Dr Bullard : I'll have to get back to you on what caused the fire.

  Barnaby : Why would anyone take against the vicar and his curate?

  Dr Bullard : Perhaps there's a Satanist on the loose.

  Barnaby : George, George, don't use words like Satanist. People are getting the wrong idea already.