- Wilbur Post: [placing telephone away from Ed] You phoned the feed store, again, didn't you, Ed? I thought I told you that I was the one to give the orders around here. Ya know, that's the fourth load of hay we've had delivered this week.
- Mister Ed: [talking while chewing mouthful of hay] Well, I'm hungry.
- Wilbur Post: How come other horses don't eat as much as you do?
- Mister Ed: 'Cause they can't phone the feed store.
- Roger Addison: [while waiting for the Posts to answer their front door] Now, Kay, I want you to promise me that you won't interfere with their lives again.
- Kay Addison: I did not interfere.
- Roger Addison: Why do you have to make the whole world miserable? I'm married to you - let's keep it in the family.