Monk (TV Series)

Mr. Monk Gets Married (2004)

Bitty Schram: Sharona Fleming

Photos 

Quotes 

• Sharona Fleming : We're never gonna get away with this. They're never gonna believe we're really married.

  Adrian Monk : We have nothing in common. I annoy you all the time. Why wouldn't they believe it?

• [Monk and Sharona come to see Disher, late at night] 

  Sharona Fleming : Have you been drinking?

  Lt. Randall Disher : Yes, I have. I couldn't think of any other way to get all this Scotch into my body.

• [Sharona and Monk are posing as a married couple] 

  Sharona Fleming : Adrian, this is a picnic. You have to sit on the ground.

  Adrian Monk : I can't. Animals do things on the ground. Terrible, terrible things.

• Sharona Fleming : [after Monk refuses to sit on a bench because a bird sat on it the day before]  You're impossible.

  Adrian Monk : You married me.

• Sharona Fleming : This guy's certifiable! Sure he's not related to you?

• Sharona Fleming : [9:23]  We have to do something. Randy must be falling apart. I almost feel sorry for him.

• Maria Disher : Six *million* dollars... who's gonna get all that money?

  Sheriff Ronald Mathis : Well, I just spoke to the D.A. Skinner's old partner, Gully, is the rightful heir. He's got some family nearby, and they are in for one pretty surprise.

  [Randy walks up to them] 

  Maria Disher : There's my hero.

  Lt. Randall Disher : [embarrassed]  I'm not a hero, Mom.

  Maria Disher : [kisses him]  You are a hero to me.

  Lt. Randall Disher : Thank you, Sheriff. My car's right here, whenever you're ready.

  Maria Disher : Well, honey, I think Ron's gonna drive me home. I'll call you in the morning. Love you.

  Lt. Randall Disher : Love you, too...

  [uncomfortably] 

  Lt. Randall Disher : In the morning?

  Sharona Fleming : You can't even get your own mother to go home with you?

• Dr. Julie Waterford : Adrian. Sharona. Glad you're still here. Something that I've been meaning to say. Marriage is very hard, and it takes exceptional people to make it work. But I think you two can do it. I believe in Adrian and Sharona.

  Sharona Fleming : Thanks a lot, uh, but I think you should know

  [pause] 

  Sharona Fleming : we're not really married.

  Dr. Julie Waterford : Oh thank god. Good. Keep it that way, huh?