Monty Python's Flying Circus (TV Series)

The Attila the Hun Show (1970)

John Cleese: Announcer, Attila the Hun, Fifth Groupie, Cricketer, Arthur Figgis, Kevin O'Nassis, First City Idiot, Fourth Old Idiot, Jim, Michael Miles

Photos 

Quotes 

• Arthur Figgis : [in bed with some beauties]  I may be an idiot, but I'm no fool.

• Michael Miles : And could we have the next contender, please? Ha ha ha... Good evening, madam, and your name is?

  Mrs. Scum : Yes, yes!

  Michael Miles : And what's your name?

  Mrs. Scum : I go to church regularly.

  Michael Miles : Jolly good, I see, and which prize do you have particular eyes on this evening?

  Mrs. Scum : I'd like the blow on the head.

  Michael Miles : The blow on the head.

  Mrs. Scum : Just there.

  [pats her head] 

  Michael Miles : Jolly good. Well, your first question for the blow on the head this evening is - what great opponent of Cartesian dualism resists the reduction of psychological phenomena to a physical state?

  Mrs. Scum : I don't know that!

  Michael Miles : Well, have a guess.

  Mrs. Scum : Henri Bergson?

  Michael Miles : Is the correct answer!

  Mrs. Scum : Ooh, that was lucky. I never even heard of him.

  Michael Miles : Jolly good.

  Mrs. Scum : I don't like darkies!

  Michael Miles : Ha ha ha! Who does! And now your second question for the blow on the head is - what is the main food that penguins eat?

  Mrs. Scum : Pork luncheon meat?

  Michael Miles : No.

  Mrs. Scum : [thinks]  Spam?

  Michael Miles : No, no, no. What do penguins eat? Penguins.

  Mrs. Scum : Penguins?

  Michael Miles : Yes.

  Mrs. Scum : I 'ate penguins!

• [Mrs. Scum is trying to guess what penguins eat in the pursuit of the grand prize, the blow on the head] 

  Michael Miles : No, no, no.

  Mrs. Scum : They eat themselves!

  Michael Miles : No, no, what do *penguins* eat?

  Mrs. Scum : Horses! Armchairs! Objects!

  Michael Miles : No, no, no. What do penguins eat?

  Mrs. Scum : Oh, penguins!

  Michael Miles : Penguins.

  Mrs. Scum : Cannelloni.

  Michael Miles : No.

  Mrs. Scum : Lasagna, moussaka, lobster thermidor, escalopes de veau a l'estragon avec endives gratineed with cheese!

  Michael Miles : No, no, no, no. I'll give you a clue.

  [mimes a fish swimming] 

  Mrs. Scum : Ah! Brian Close!