- Orson Welles: [in cold open] Gather the kids, the dog, Grandma... and lock them in another room. And sit back and enjoy this very special episode of Moonlighting.
- Maddie Hayes: [Overlapping with David] I am not speaking to you!
- David Addison Jr.: [Overlapping with Maddie] Are too!
- Maddie Hayes: [Overlapping with David] I am not!
- David Addison Jr.: [Overlapping with Maddie] Are too!
- Maddie Hayes: [Overlapping with David] Am not!
- David Addison Jr.: [Overlapping with Maddie] Are too!
- Maddie Hayes: I'm not! Not another word, not another sound, not another peep until we get back to the office.
- David Addison Jr.: Peep!
- Agnes DiPesto: [At Maddie arriving at the agency] Good afternoon, Ms. Hayes.
- Maddie Hayes: [Fuming mad] Arrrgh!
- Agnes DiPesto: [At David arriving at the agency] Good evening, Mr. Addison.
- David Addison Jr.: [Whistling cheerfully] Not according to her, it's not.
- David Addison Jr.: [Maddie calling him up after they departed in their respective offices] Men's room.
- Maddie Hayes: I'm not a sexist.
- David Addison Jr.: Not only are you a sexist, but you are the sexiest sexist it has ever been my good fortune to satirize.
- Maddie Hayes: Satirize?
- David Addison Jr.: Satirize, scrutinize, fantasize, et cetera, et cetera, et cetera.
- Maddie Hayes: [Maddie hangs up and heads home] The silly sexist... Ha! Scrutinize. We'll see who's gonna scrutinize who in this relationship, pal!