The Muppet Show (TV Series)

Candice Bergen (1976)

Richard Hunt: Miss Piggy, Scooter, Statler, Sweetums, Pigs, Boppity

Quotes 

• Waldorf : I think I should see a doctor.

  Statler : Why do you say that?

  Waldorf : I'm beginning to like the show.

• Kermit : My profile has been compared to Barrymore.

  Sweetums : Yeah, Ethel Barrymore.

• Candice Bergen : She was so unsophisticated, she thought Marcello Mastroianni was an Italian soup.

  [entire panel laughs hysterically except for Sam] 

  Sam the American Eagle : You mean it isn't an Italian soup?

  Mildred : And he calls himself a world traveler?

  Sam the American Eagle : No, now wait, I have been to restaurants where I've ordered Marcello Mastroianni, and I've gotten it.

  Candice Bergen : Really? What did you get?

  Sam the American Eagle : A swarthy, good-looking man sitting in a bowl. I always send him back.

  Candice Bergen : What do you get when you order a Russian dressing? Rudolf Nureyev putting on his tights?