- Candice Bergen: She was so unsophisticated, she thought Marcello Mastroianni was an Italian soup.
- [entire panel laughs hysterically except for Sam]
- Sam the American Eagle: You mean it isn't an Italian soup?
- Mildred: And he calls himself a world traveler?
- Sam the American Eagle: No, now wait, I have been to restaurants where I've ordered Marcello Mastroianni, and I've gotten it.
- Candice Bergen: Really? What did you get?
- Sam the American Eagle: A swarthy, good-looking man sitting in a bowl. I always send him back.
- Candice Bergen: What do you get when you order a Russian dressing? Rudolf Nureyev putting on his tights?
- Miss Piggy: Kermit, do you notice that every time we have a beautiful girl on the show, you forget about me?
- Kermit: Uh, yeah, well, we could have a seal act on the show, and I might forget about you.
- Miss Piggy: He tries so desperately to hide his love for me.
- Fozzie Bear: Letter for Kermit the Frog! Letter for Kermit the Frog! Letter for Ker- Are you Kermit the Frog?
- Kermit: You know I am, Fozzie.
- [Fozzie holds up a wooden letter "R"]
- Fozzie Bear: Ah! Ah! Letter! Ah! Funny! Funny! Ah!
- [Fozzie leaves. Kermit grimaces, unamused]
- Kermit: Someday I'm gonna get him. I don't know how, but I'm going to get him.