The Muppet Show (TV Series)

Lola Falana (1979)

Dave Goelz: Gonzo, Klaus Mueller

Quotes 

• Gonzo : Oh, please, Kermit! Kiss kiss, grovel grovel!

  Kermit the Frog : Stop kissing my flipper! Gonzo! Have you no dignity?

  Gonzo : Of course not. How long have we worked together?

• Lola Falana : Gonzo! What are you doing in there? I thought you were on your way to Bombay, India, to become a movie star.

  Gonzo : I was, but then I got this telegram.

  Lola Falana : [reading the telegram]  To Gonzo the Great, c/o Muppet Show. Thought we were hiring another performer named Gonzo the Mediocre. Contract canceled.

• [Gonzo is singing "My Way" as his finale song before leaving for a film career in Bombay, but he breaks down crying] 

  Kermit the Frog : Gonzo? Are you okay, Gonzo? It's just a song.

  Gonzo : I know. It's not the song. I just don't want to go.

  Kermit the Frog : But you're going to go out and make movies.

  Gonzo : I want to go there. I just don't want to leave here.

  Kermit the Frog : You had a choice to make, Gonzo, and you made it, and it was a good choice.

  Gonzo : I know.

  Kermit the Frog : I don't like long goodbyes, Gonzo, so...

  [reaches his hand out to shake Gonzo's; Gonzo hugs Kermit] 

  Kermit the Frog : Take care of yourself, Gonzo.

  Gonzo : You, too.

  [sniffles] 

  Kermit the Frog : [to camera]  We've had a little change of plans. I think we better just take a break.

  [leaves with his arm around Gonzo's shoulder] 

• Miss Piggy : I just uh, want you to know that uh, at your movie studio, if you should ever happen upon a producer, who is looking for a... ahem... sex goddess...

  Gonzo : Yes, I'll know just who to call.

  Miss Piggy : Ahem. Thank you.

  Gonzo : Camilla.

  Miss Piggy : What?

  Gonzo : That little chickie babe is dynamite! She makes most movie queens look like pigs!

  [leaves] 

  Miss Piggy : [shouting]  Don't come back, Turkey-Twit!