- The White Rabbit: I'm looking for a hole.
- Alice: Looking for a hole? A whole what?
- The White Rabbit: I hate smart Alices.
- Kermit the Frog: Why did we do Alice in Wonderland? We should have done something simple, like War and Peace.
- Fozzie Bear: I'm the Tin Woodsman!
- Kermit the Frog: There's no Tin Woodsman in Alice in Wonderland!
- Fozzie Bear: Alice in Wonderland? I thought we were doing Peter Pan!
- Kermit the Frog: It's Alice in Wonderland! Now go change, Fozzie!
- Fozzie Bear: Yes sir! Anybody got a can opener?