- Man at Bar: I'll have a lager.
- Nick: Coming right up.
- [gives the man a green cocktail]
- Man at Bar: That's not a lager.
- Nick: It's better. I call it a Nick-tini.
- Man at Bar: I'd rather have a lager.
- Nick: OK.
- [pulls out another cocktail, this time a white one]
- Man at Bar: What's that?
- Nick: A Nick-orita. Packed full of Tequila, you'll love it.
- Pub Landlord: Just give the man a lager.
- Nick: Look, I can't. I don't want to point fingers, but somebody forgot to order more barrels.
- Pub Landlord: You were supposed to order more.
- Nick: That's why I don't want to point fingers.
- Pub Landlord: You're fired.
- Nick: No, wait! You haven't seen my cocktail routine!
- [tosses cocktail shaker between hands, throws it up in the air, it lands on the bar and smashes]
- Pub Landlord: [pause] You're still fired.
- Nick: Fine, but you haven't seen the last of Nick harper!
- [walks out from behind the bar, and sits down next to the other man at the bar]
- Nick: I'll have a pint, it's been a rough day.
- [first lines]
- Susan: I've made you a cup of tea.
- Ben: Ah, thank you.
- [pause]
- Ben: Hang on, there's something wrong.
- Susan: Why am I not surprised?
- Ben: I've got my favorite spot on the couch; you've made me a cup of tea; I didn't fight to get the remote, and there's a Jammie Dodger left.
- Susan: Oh, really?
- [Susan takes the Jammie Dodger]
- Ben: Good. That's lovely. Things are back to normal.
- [last lines]
- [Ben and Susan are in bed]
- Susan: You know, you're amazing.
- Ben: I know. I'm an amazing kind of guy.
- Susan: No, I mean the way you handled things with Nick tonight.
- Ben: I do my best.
- Susan: I guess I'm going to have to face the fact that our little boy... has gained his independence.
- Nick: [Nick enters and pulls the duvet off them] Yours has got a higher tog rating. See ya.
- [Nick leaves with the duvet]
- Ben: Tomorrow we change the locks.