- Crow T. Robot: At least the poor editing covers up how badly it was shot.
- Tom Servo: It's the movie's way of saying: "You don't need to concern yourself with this!"
- Dr. Bob Hogan: He'd sit on his mother's head if he had something to gain by it.
- Crow T. Robot: Hot image, Bob.
- [seeing the title "Devil Fish"]
- Mike Nelson: Our special tonight is devil fish, with satanic string beans and deep lucifered potatoes.
- [the sheriff shows Dr. Hogan some photographs]
- Sheriff: Maybe there's something in these pictures I'm not seeing.
- Mike Nelson: [as Hogan looking at photos] No, it's just you nude at the forest preserve.
- [Devilfish surfaces while the sheriff is shooting the bouys]
- Tom Servo: Not my baalllooooooooooonnnn!