- Matthew Brock: I'm not sure I can handle this. Do you know what a big James Caan fan I am? I mean, he's like the real life Don Corleone.
- Dave Nelson: No he isn't. That was Marlon Brando. James Caan played Sonny Corleone.
- Matthew Brock: Oh, I've watched that movie so many times I can't tell who's who anymore.
- Matthew Brock: I loved you in Thunderball.
- James Caan: Actually, I wasn't in Thunderball. You must be thinking of Rollerball.
- Matthew Brock: Yeah, but when I watch Thunderball, I wish you were in it.
- Matthew Brock: I can't believe I threw up on James Caan.
- Bill McNeal: I can't believe he just laughed it off.
- Matthew Brock: I can't believe he didn't punch me.
- Bill McNeal: I can't believe he did punch me.
- Lisa Miller: Why don't you read a book?
- Dave Nelson: Like what?
- Lisa Miller: Like Anna Karenina.
- Dave Nelson: Oh, no. I lost a whole semester of Cheers reading Anna Karenina. I'm not making that mistake again.
- Lisa Miller: I'm reading it for the third time.
- Dave Nelson: You read the same thing over and over, and I'm the one with the brain made of mush?
- Bill McNeal: I see. You start with the nuts and bolts, then get into the deep psychological stuff.
- James Caan: No. I start with the nuts, then get to the bolts, and then get the hell out of here.
- Dave Nelson: [watching Green Acres] Did you know that there were six Arnold the pigs? This was number three. Not my favorite.
- Bill McNeal: You know, you and me are a lot alike. You're a Hollywood tough guy, and I'm a New York radio tough guy.
- James Caan: What are you talking about.
- Bill McNeal: Nothing, just talking to myself.
- Joe Garrelli: Name three people who play basketball.
- Beth: Okay, Michael Jordan, Rod... man, and... there was a guy who spit on a kid.
- Joe Garrelli: You have to be more specific.
- Beth: Was it a... loogie?
- Dave Nelson: I'll have you know that a lot of intellectual people watch television.
- Lisa Miller: Oh, really? Name one.
- Dave Nelson: Dave Nelson.