NewsRadio (TV Series)

Super Karate Monkey Death Car (1997)

Maura Tierney: Lisa Miller

Quotes 

• Dave : Did you commit any crime that was not SAT related?

  Lisa : I broke into the library.

  Beth : To vandalize it?

  Lisa : No, I had a big history test, and my only copy at home of the Federalist Papers was abridged.

• Dave : I'm afraid to ask, but what was your federal offense?

  Lisa : Breaking and entering.

  Dave : That's not a federal offense.

  Lisa : It is if it's a post office.

  Dave : Oh, Lisa.

  Lisa : I had to find out the scores to my SATs, and it was a long weekend.

• Lisa : It wasn't even jail... it was "juvie".

  Bill : Is anybody else turned on right now?

• Andrea : [Administering a polygraph test]  If you could be any kind of tree in the whole wide world, what...

  Lisa : I stole a car!... I mean, a sycamore tree.

• Lisa : They shouldn't even call it a test if you can't get an A+ on it.

  Dave : Maybe they'll hand out gold stars.

  Lisa : Gold stars are for babies.