NewsRadio (TV Series)

The Crisis (1995)

Phil Hartman: Bill McNeal

Quotes 

• Bill McNeal : Yes, I have a question.

  Dave Nelson : Yes, Bill?

  Bill McNeal : How long has Matthew been lobbying for a new desk?

  Dave Nelson : Oh, there was no lobbying. He just happened to mention it over dinner one night.

  Matthew Brock : Oh, Dave... They... they don't need to know about our dinners.

  Bill McNeal : So... dinner and a desk. What's next, you're gonna get him a pony?

• Dave Nelson : Listen up, people, this is what we're gonna do.

  Bill McNeal : Standard subway crisis. We know what to do, Dave.

  Dave Nelson : I didn't know there was a standard procedure for this.

  Bill McNeal : Oh, sure. We send a reporter to the scene, he asks the transit police if he can go into the tunnel, they say no, he says okay, I go on the air every eight minutes and say, "Still no news on that disabled train."

  Dave Nelson : Bill, if I may, I'd like to try something different this time.

  Bill McNeal : Okay. How about this? We send a reporter, transit police, go in, no, okay, I go on the air every seven minutes, blah, blah, blah.

• Bill McNeal : It's not the desk itself, it's what it represents.

  Dave Nelson : Which is...

  Bill McNeal : Actually, it is the desk itself.

• Bill McNeal : No desk, no dinner... Land of Opportunity my ass!

• Bill McNeal : I have a question.

  Dave Nelson : Yes, Bill?

  Bill McNeal : I don't have a new desk.

  Dave Nelson : Bill, that's not a question.

• Catherine Duke : If Bill gets a new desk, I want a new desk.

  Dave Nelson : Bill's not getting a new desk.

  Bill McNeal : Thanks for letting me down so gently.