- Ralph: I was hoping you could make it to my birthday party. It's gonna be pretty wild, if you know what I mean.
- Narrator: Actually, we didn't.
- Tayler 'Ted' Mark Beene: [later] It's a makeout party, you dip-sticks.
- Oliver David Beene: What? How can you tell?
- Tayler 'Ted' Mark Beene: Look at the invitation. D'you see any cowboys, Indians or space-ships anywhere?
- Joyce: Uh-oh.
- Tayler 'Ted' Mark Beene: Yep. You're gonna see all the classic kissing games: Spin the Bottle, Seven Minutes in Heaven, Choo-choo, Where's my Typewriter. This is where it all begins.
- Oliver David Beene: It's so confusing. Just a year ago, I was supposed to think girls were gross.
- Joyce: I always knew this day would come. Though, I was hoping my breasts would come first.