One Foot in the Grave (TV Series)

Only a Story (1995)

Richard Wilson: Victor Meldrew

Photos 

Quotes 

• Mrs Warboys : [about the film they just watched]  Why did those detectives ask David Dimbleby for his sperm?

  Victor Meldrew : To eliminate him from their inquiries.

  Mrs Warboys : Oh, I see.

  Victor Meldrew : The police can use sperm now as a way of fingerprinting people.

  Mrs Warboys : [with a long face]  Don't see what was wrong with the old ink pads.

• [first lines] 

  Victor Meldrew : Well, that's that over for another year. The joyous ritual of our annual pilgrimage to see great-aunt Joyce. Gets more like entering a mummy's tomb every time we go there.

  Margaret Meldrew : Is it my imagination, or has it got cold in here?

  Victor Meldrew : Still, these'll be a real godsend, won't they! A pair of gloves with six fingers in each hand. Trying to tell me I'd grow into them. What's she going to knit for me next time, a balaclava with two heads?