One Foot in the Grave (TV Series)

The Beast in the Cage (1992)

Louise Duprey: Lisa

Quotes 

• [Victor is stuck in traffic - a man leans out and talks to him] 

  Salmon : No! Recession, what recession? Not from where I'm sitting. And I've got two salons in North London both doing serious business. The way I look at it is, well, the economy may stop growing, but your hair doesn't, know what I'm saying? So I'm now looking at options for a third outlet in Pimlico. Probably opening next summer. So you just pop along, mention my name, and get a free shampoo and set on the house. Just say you're friends with Mr. Salmon.

  [it is then noticed that Salmon is acually talking to two women in the car beside Victor's, but is doing so through Victors car window] 

  Lisa : Oooh, I don't know.

  Carol : Sounds a bit fishy to me.

  Lisa : You could be anybody.

  Salmon : But you'll just have to trust me, won't you, my sweetheart. I'll tell you what, you can have a full perm for half price. What did you say your name was?

  Lisa : Lisa.

  Salmon : Lisa. And your friend?

  Carol : Carol.

  Salmon : Carol. You can have the full works. Cut, dyed and blow dried all at twenty percent discount. And I might even take you out for a drink afterwards; now I can't say fairer than that, can I?

  Lisa : How do you know I'm not a natural blonde?

  Salmon : Well, that's for you to prove otherwise, isn't it.

  Victor Meldrew : Oh, for God's sake! I think I may throw up!

  Salmon : Sorry, what's your problem, matey?

  Victor Meldrew : Why don't you just dangle your private parts out of the window?