- [first lines]
- Art Teacher: Now, you see, if you follow the actual curve of the thigh right the way up to the waist, you can see it's- Mr Meldrew.
- Victor Meldrew: [looking away] Mm?
- Art Teacher: You can see that it's actually a virtual right-angle. There, you see?
- Victor Meldrew: Yes.
- Art Teacher: Now, look at *her* thighs, and look at *your* thighs.
- [Victor grunts]
- Art Teacher: Not at the floor, Mr Meldrew, at her thighs. There aren't any thighs on the floor, are there?
- Victor Meldrew: No.
- Victor Meldrew: I'm going down to the phone box to try and get through to someone helpful at British Telecom. I'm sorry, I seem to be uttering the demented gibberings of a madman.