One Foot in the Grave (TV Series)

Secret of the Seven Sorcerers (1993)

Angus Deayton: Patrick

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Quotes 

• [first lines] 

  Radio Announcer : So, on line two we have Patrick. Good evening to you, Patrick, and what's your question for Mimsy Berkovitz?

  Patrick : Well, it's a bit of a tricky one, but, uh, put simply my wife and I live next door to a man that... if I tell you a few weeks ago he put a specially trained crab up my shorts while I was a asleep in the garden, and that I had to be rushed to hospital with it hanging between my legs like a passenger on a tube train, uh, you'll get some idea of the problem; and what's tricky is that they've invited us round the house tomorrow for a meal to try and patch things up. I just wonder if we should risk it.