Kyle Howard: Philip W. Steffan

Quotes 

• Jed Perry : So it's, uh, it's been confirmed. It wasn't just imaginary. She is into me.

  Philip W. Steffan : Well, congratulations, I guess that makes you like an official lesbian attraction. We should put a rope around you or something.

• Cary Baston : I just went shopping.

  Philip W. Steffan : [chewing]  Right, I know. But Judy said that Cassie said if you don't go again...

  Cary Baston : Whoa whoa whoa! Are they telling you to boss me around? And you're doing it? What? What's that about?

  Philip W. Steffan : I thought we already went over this. Power through total submission, Cary? I have to do everything she says, and she will become dependant on me. Then I will be the master and she the slave. These are really delicious, by the way.

  Cary Baston : [points at shopping list]  Wait. What's that?

  Philip W. Steffan : That is twelve boxes of tampons.