Chris Langham: Roy Mallard

Quotes 

• Vicar's Wife : I lost my virginity to a Barry White song.

  Roy Mallard : Which one?

  Vicar's Wife : You only get one.

• Roy Mallard : Do you seriously believe in the Miracle of the Good Samaritan?

  Andrew Treverton : Well that wasn't a miracle. All he did was cross the road.

• Secretary : And then I think who has he got to go home to and talk about his problems?

  Roy Mallard : Perhaps his wi...

  Secretary : No one! And then I feel really sad.