- Cpl. Steve Henshaw: [about Forbes playing Tarzan] Yeah, but Ernie, how do you know he can act?
- MSgt. Ernest G. Bilko: What act? You don't have to act. All you have to learn how to do is stab animals and say two lines: 'Me Tarzan. You Jane.'
- Cpl. Steve Henshaw: What's in it for you?
- MSgt. Ernest G. Bilko: Me rich!
- MSgt. Ernest G. Bilko: [applying make-up to Forbes] Look, I happen to know Perc Westmore worked two hours a day on Buster Crabbe, so let me help you with these things.
- MSgt. Ernest G. Bilko: [to Lucy] You're going to be on television. You ever been on television before?