The Talking Baby: [sees Oscar reading book] what is that you're reading show business for dummies?
Oscar Proud: What are you doing here? Oh I get it this is a cattle call for ugly babies huh? I think we have a winner.
The Talking Baby: Your attempt at humor like the diaper I'm wearing is beneath me if you must know I'm the most prolific infant actor in the business I've been doing commercials since I was 5 days old I cry in five different languages that's five and a half more than you'll ever know. I'm the baby to beat, buster.
Oscar Proud: Oh really wouldn't it be a shame if for some strange reason you didn't make it to the audition?
The Talking Baby: Where are you taking me?
Oscar Proud: You'll know when you get there.
Trudy Proud: Oscar Oscar you won't believe it the producer saw the twins and hired them right on the spot.
Oscar Proud: Hear that, Rudolph? you lost to my kids you 11 month old has been.
Trudy Proud: Oscar who are you talking to?
Oscar Proud: This little trouble making baby over here go ahead let me see you mouth off to her.
The Talking Baby: [talking as a baby] goo goo gah gah.
Oscar Proud: I tell you Trudy he can talk! He's been doing commercials since he was 5 days old! He can cry in six different languages.
Trudy Proud: Look, baby I'll drive home you just rest.
Oscar Proud: No wait a minute baby! I'm not crazy! I'm telling you the truth! It ain't me now,
[talking baby chuckles sinisterly at me]
Oscar Proud: Trudy!