Rumpole of the Bailey (TV Series)

Rumpole and the Heavy Brigade (1978)

Leo McKern: Horace Rumpole

Quotes 

• Mrs. Delgado : Mr. Rumpole, I'm only the boy's mother.

  Horace Rumpole : [sarcastically]  Oh, don't underestimate yourself, madam. You have bred three sons who have given a great deal of employment to the legal profession.

• Horace Rumpole : All we have is a large soak patch in the crook of the left arm.

  Mr. Thistleton : Yes.

  Horace Rumpole : Totally consistent with my client merely having supported the deceased's head as he lay bleeding in his arms.

  Mr. Thistleton : [after pausing, hesitantly]  Not inconsistent.

  Horace Rumpole : [exasperated]  Not inconsistent! Mr. Thistleton, doesn't "not inconsistent" when translated into plain English mean "consistent"?

  Mr. Thistleton : Yes, it does.

• Horace Rumpole : You know, it's a most extraordinary thing, my Learned Friend. We go through all the mumbo-jumbo, we put on the wig, and the gown, we mutter the ritual prayers, "If your Lordship pleases", "Ladies and Gentlemen of the Jury", abracadabra, fee fie foe bloody fum. And just when everybody thinks you're going to produce the most ludicrously fake piece of cheesecloth ectoplasm, there it is, clear as a bell! The truth! Don't you find it? You know, it's bloody scary sometimes, ha ha, but there it is, the truth. Naked and embarrassing!

• Horace Rumpole : In November an old man's fancy likely turns to thoughts of indecent assault.

• Horace Rumpole : Murder is nothing more than common assault... with unfortunate consequences.

• [talking about the victim that his client is alleged to have murdered] 

  Horace Rumpole : He was a rent-collector. That's a good start. The jury will be dead against murder, but if somebody *has* to go, it might as well be a rent-collector.