Sabrina the Teenage Witch (TV Series)

Pilot (1996)

Paul Feig: Mr. Eugene Pool

Quotes 

• Harvey Kinkle : [sees Sabrina for the first time ever, through a glass door, both immediately smile at each other, then Mr Pool hits Harvey in the head by opening the glass door] 

  Mr. Eugene Pool : Summer's over ! Come on in !

  [Scene switch, pupils are now in the classroom. Writes to chalkboard] 

  Mr. Eugene Pool : I'm Mr Pool

  [coughs] 

  Mr. Eugene Pool : and I know you where hoping I was gonna spend the day mispronouncing your names, but... instead lets just jump right into biology ! The frog is a coldblooded vertebrate. As we dissect this amphibian we're looking for: the kidneys, lard, and my lost youth.

  [laughter] 

  Mr. Eugene Pool : So if you'll each choose up a lab partner ?

  [waits, nobody moves] 

  Mr. Eugene Pool : ... or I could pair ya by height !

  [they move] 

  Mr. Eugene Pool : Thank you !

  Harvey Kinkle : [to Sabrina]  Hey you want...

  Libby Chessler : [interrupts from the side]  Harvey ! I'll be your lab partner !

  Harvey Kinkle : [smiles shortly at Sabrina in a I'm sorry kind of way, then moves to Libby] 

• Mr. Eugene Pool : Oh! Look, girls, you... you bored your frog to death!

  [hands Sabrina the knife] 

  Mr. Eugene Pool : Well, slice and dice!

  [walks away] 

  Sabrina : [sighs]  I hate doing this. If only there was some way I could bring these frogs back to life. I think his heart is somewhere around... here!

  [Magic springs from her pointing finger, the frog comes back to life, starts croaking and moving] 

  Sabrina : Look! Tad's alive! How'd that happen?

  Jennifer 'Jenny' Kelley : Ha! It's Frankenfrog! Hey!

  [Frog jumps away] 

  Jennifer 'Jenny' Kelley : [Sabrina squeals and goes after the frog] 

  Jennifer 'Jenny' Kelley : Mr Pool! Ours is still kicking!

  [Still squealing, Sabrina catches the frog] 

  Mr. Eugene Pool : [Chuckles]  Mike from Cadaver Shack's gonna here from me!