- Panjib: May the river of your age soon spend itself out and disport you on the sands of eternal well-being.
- Fred G. Sanford: And may the muddy waters of the Mississippi run up your Taj and out your Mahal.
- Doctor: This is remarkable! A total body acupuncture cure.
- Fred G. Sanford: That's right, Doc, and by a cactus, not you.
- Doctor: So?
- Fred G. Sanford: So I suggest you acupuncture your bill.
- Doctor: I don't understand.
- Fred G. Sanford: Stick it.
- Panjib: [Trying to teach Fred a yoga position called the "Flower of Traquility] Are you having a problem with your Flower of Tranquility?
- Fred G. Sanford: [Sound of ripping fabric] No, I'm having a problem with my Fruit of the Looms!
- Fred G. Sanford: [When Lamont suggests acupuncture] And now look at this, my only son's tryin' to get me shish-kabobed!
- Mrs. Hopkins: [Speaking at the testimonial dinner] Tonight we have come here to praise Fred Sanford, not to bury him. Though the vote was close... I salute you, Fred Sanford! And if I may say in the vernacular of the ghetto,
- [raising fist in a power salute]
- Mrs. Hopkins: right on, sucker!