- Lamont Sanford: Look, Pop, try and be a little nice to Aunt Esther. You know she's got that whiplash and that's very painful.
- Fred G. Sanford: How did she do that, anyway?
- Lamont Sanford: Well, she was sitting in the back of Uncle Woody's truck, and she got hit from the rear.
- Fred G. Sanford: Well, how could you tell? Both ends look the same to me.
- Aunt Esther Anderson: You don't know nothin' about babies!
- Fred G. Sanford: Who, Fred G. Sanford? The G stands for goo-goo, gah-gah and gynecologist.
- Mrs. Sherman: Are you feeling better, Mr. Anderson?
- Uncle Woodrow 'Woody' Anderson: Oh, yes, thank you. I just have a slight headache.
- Aunt Esther Anderson: It'll pass shortly, Dear.
- Uncle Woodrow 'Woody' Anderson: You really think so, Esther?
- Aunt Esther Anderson: Oh, I know so. 'Cause just as soon as Ms. Sherman leaves, I'm gone knock yo head off!