Sanford and Son (TV Series)

Coffins for Sale (1972)

Redd Foxx: Fred G. Sanford

Photos 

Quotes 

• Fred G. Sanford : I don't understand you kids today. If I had talked to my father the way you talk to me, you know what he'd have done?

  Lamont Sanford : Yeah, he'd have given you one across the lip.

  Fred G. Sanford : That's right. And he would've continued on down from there. He whipped from the lips to the hips.

  Lamont Sanford : And you think that's the answer, huh?

  Fred G. Sanford : Well, it might not be the answer, but it sure was no question when he finished.

• Melvin : [Lamont opens the door, and he enters the house]  Hello, Lamont. Hello, Fred.

  [sees the coffins in the living room, and immediately turns around] 

  Melvin : Goodbye, Fred. Goodbye, Lamont!

  [Walks out the door, and Fred follows him] 

  Fred G. Sanford : Melvin, wait a minute! Come back here!

• Fred G. Sanford : [after Lamont turned down Nelson B Davis's offer]  You dummy! Why didn't to take that offer?

  Lamont Sanford : For $30? Pop, that's only five dollars profit, now I'm going to make a killing on these!

  Fred G. Sanford : Well, make two killings and get them both out of here!

• Fred G. Sanford : [Discussing the coffins]  And they ain't goin' in the house!

  Lamont Sanford : Oh, yes they are!

  Fred G. Sanford : Oh, no they're not. Over my dead body.

  Lamont Sanford : Well, that's one sale we got.

• Fred G. Sanford : [Discussing the coffins]  You know anyone around who can use one?

  Melvin : Well, if he can use it, he ain't no longer around.

• Lamont Sanford : This is ridiculous! You're ridiculous and I'm ridiculous for being out here with you!

  Fred G. Sanford : Then go back in the house.

  Lamont Sanford : Don't be ridiculous.

• Lamont Sanford : What do you say pop?

  Fred G. Sanford : Don't call me pop you don't sound like sound like no son of min you sound like the son of Frankenstein!

• Fred G. Sanford : What about when all them pigeons gathered on top of Mrs.Johnson House, and I told you that was a bad sign. I said Mrs.Johnson not going to be around long, and within a year She was dead.

  Lamont Sanford : Pop, Ms. Johnson was 97 years old

  Fred G. Sanford : Well, The Pigeons knew it

  Lamont Sanford : They Knew they had to take a rest. Pigeons can't fly forever.

  Fred G. Sanford : Well, why they had to rest on top of her roof? You can't Answer that can you?