- Lamont Sanford: You are Scrooge. This is just like that story, 'Christmas Carol'.
- Fred G. Sanford: What the Dickens are you talking about?
- Lamont Sanford: [as the Ghost of Christmas] We'll travel on the clouds, above the stars in the sky.
- Fred G. Sanford: Unh-uh, I ain't smokin' any of that stuff.
- Lamont Sanford: [as the Ghost of Christmas] This is your future, Fred Sanford.
- Fred G. Sanford: That's me? All alone, no son, no friends?
- Lamont Sanford: And do you know why?
- Fred G. Sanford: No deodorant?