Sanford and Son (TV Series)

Fred Sanford, Legal Eagle (1974)

Redd Foxx: Fred G. Sanford

Quotes 

• Fred Sanford : [to Lamont]  You got a ticket from a white man in a blue uniform, in a black neighborhood, and you're so mad you see red, and you won't fight it 'cause you're too yellow. Now what are you, a man or a box of crayons?

• Fred Sanford : Listen, why don't you arrest some white drivers?

  Cop : I do.

  Fred Sanford : You do? Well, where are they? Look at all these niggas in here! Look around here! There's enough niggas in here to make a Tarzan movie!

• Judge : You say, you're the counsel for the defendant?

  [indicating Lamont] 

  Fred Sanford : I've been counseling him all his life, and I wanna ask this officer here a question.

  [indicating the arresting officer] 

  Judge : Very well. Proceed.

  Fred Sanford : Now here's the question.

  [walks to the officer] 

  Fred Sanford : What have you got against black drivers?

  Judge : [has to bang his gavel as the gallery erupts]  Order! Order! I will not tolerate these outbursts!

  [to Fred] 

  Judge : And you will restrict your inquiry to the matter before the court!

  Fred Sanford : Well, that's what's wrong with the court, judge. A black man ain't got a chance down here.

  Judge : I'm black.

  Fred Sanford : Well, you the judge, that don't count.

• Fred Sanford : [Commenting to Lamont about Mr. Lopez as the Mexican man steps before the judge]  I bet he got a speeding ticket. Y'see, because when Mexicans get their car started they have to drive real fast to get where they're going before the car stalls again.

• Fred Sanford : Listen, why don't you ever arrest some white drivers?

  Policeman : I do.

  Fred Sanford : You do? Well, where are they? I don't see any. Look at all these niggers in here. Look around here. There's enough niggers in here to make a Tarzan movie.

• Fred Sanford : Are you really a lawyer?

  Sonny Cochran : Well, some folks say I am a lawyer, while other folks say I ain't.

  Fred Sanford : Who says you ain't?

  Sonny Cochran : The State of California!

• Fred Sanford : [a Mexican man takes the stand]  I'll bet he got a speeding ticket. See, when Mexicans finally get their cars started, they gotta get where they're going real fast before their car stalls again.

• Bailiff : Will a Juan Diego Perez please rise?

  Fred Sanford : [whispering to Lamont]  He's a Mexican.

  Lamont Sanford : Yeah, no kidding.

• Lamont Sanford : Don't be ridiculous, Pop, you can't fight a traffic ticket.

  Fred Sanford : I'm not being ridiclous. You are. Now look, you get a ticket by a white cop in a blue uniform in a black neighborhood, making you so mad you see red. And you ain't gonna fight it 'cause you too yellow. Now what are you? A man or a box of crayons?