- Lamont Sanford: [Telling his father of his plans to marry Julio's sister] But look on the bright side of it, Pop. When we have our first son we'll name him after you. We'll call him Fredrico! Litte Fredrico Manuel Fuentes Sanford!
- Fred G. Sanford: [Staggering, hand over his heart] Oh, no! This is the biggest one I ever had! You hear that, Elizabeth? I'm comin' to join ya, honey... with an invitation to a Puerto Rican wedding!
- Lamont Sanford: [as the nurse comes in, Fred clutches his chest, moaning] Where does it hurt, Pop - is it your heart?
- Fred G. Sanford: The pain WAS in my heart, but, looking at you two, it's moved further down.
- First Nurse: C'mon, Mr. Sanford! Believe me, we want you to be tested and out of here sooner than you do. Maybe you would like a mild tranquilizer to relax you.
- Fred G. Sanford: No, just give me two bottles of Ripple and you won't even know I'm in here!