- Fred G. Sanford: [after Junior smashes a lamp while training in the house] Here I am, I ain't been in the wide world of sports two minutes and already I can sense the agony of defeat.
- Grady Wilson: [Upon entering Clancy Fitzgerald's 1930's-era office] Wow, Fred, this looks like something right out of one of those old movies. I could just close my eyes and see... I can see... Y'know, Fred, with my eyes closed I can't see a damn thing.
- Fred G. Sanford: [after Junior Joe Louis hits Lamont in the stomach, he gets upset and gets in the ring to avenge it, doing his usual flailing of his fists, then points at the canvas] Look down there!
- [Junior does]
- Fred G. Sanford: Look at that! There's a glazed donut!
- [Then throws an uppercut that knocks Junior on his butt]
- Lamont Sanford: [Chastising his father for getting taken in by a con man] Pop, how could you do any kind of business with Yerby, man? Anybody that goes door to door selling encyclopedias printed in crayon is deranged.
- Lamont Sanford: And for breakfast this bottomless pit
- [Junior]
- Lamont Sanford: ate a dozen eggs, a half a pound of bacon, and a loaf of toast! And a half an hour later, I caught him looking fondly at Julio's goat!
- Grady Wilson: [after Fred has ruined Junior's one shot at getting a fight by arguing with the promoter] Oh boy, you did it, Fred. You got him on the ropes now. Now finish the job. Borrow one of the ropes to hang yourself.