Sanford and Son (TV Series)

Here Comes the Bride, There Goes the Bride (1972)

Demond Wilson: Lamont Sanford

Photos 

Quotes 

• Lamont Sanford : [All the guests are staking claim to their wedding gift in order to return them while he stands there watching incredulous]  Say what are you people doing? Will you stop it?

  [Whistles loudly to get their attention] 

  Lamont Sanford : Will you just stop it?

  Fred G. Sanford : You tell 'em, son!

  Lamont Sanford : [Still addressing everyone else]  What is the matter with you? I don't believe you! I just got the shock of my life less than an hour ago, and what are you all doing? You're standing around here worrying about your dumb wedding presents! Well I don't wanna see you, or your presents, in my house for another second!

  [Slaps the table on the second syllable of "another" for emphasis. Everyone, shocked at this, puts all their gifts back and leaves at once. Lamont then, using the tablecloth to hold all of them, carries the gifts to the door] 

  Lamont Sanford : That's right. I'll tell you what you can do. You can go figure out who belongs to what out in the yard!

  [Throws the gifts out the door behind them] 

  Fred G. Sanford : [Joining in on the fun, Fred does the same thing to the food on a different table and carries it to the door]  And don't say we didn't feed you!

  [Tosses the food out at them, then turns and grabs the wedding cake] 

  Fred G. Sanford : And here's some dessert!

  [Tosses the cake out. We then cut to a shot of Aunt Hazel, who got hit in the face with the cake. She takes off her glasses and glares at Fred and Lamont, who are both grinning] 

  Fred G. Sanford : Hazel, you never looked sweeter.

  [Hazel gives him a "look", while both Fred and Lamont laugh and go back in] 

• Fred Sanford : Look at the family: buncha jive niggers.

  Lamont Sanford : Pop!

• Reverend Trimble : Do you, Lamont Grady Sanford, take Crystal Simpson to be your lawful wedded wife, to love, honor, cherish, for better or worse, for richer or poorer, in sickness and in health, til death do you part?

  Lamont Sanford : [Sounding uncertain]  I do?

  [Fred cringes] 

  Reverend Trimble : Do you, Crystal Simpson, take Lamont Grady Sanford to be your lawful wedded husband, to love, honor, cherish, for better or worse, for richer or poorer, in sickness and in health, til death do you part?

  Crystal Simpson : [Immediate, firm]  No.

  [Lamont face turns shocked] 

  Reverend Trimble : [Like he's on automatic pilot]  We are honored by...

  Lamont Sanford : [Stopping him]  Wait a minute, Reverend Trimble! She said "no"!