- Osgood Wilcox: Well, now, I think it only fair to warn you I'm quite skilled at karate.
- [Demonstrates karate chops and a kick]
- Osgood Wilcox: HWAH! HWAH! SHAH!
- Fred G. Sanford: This nigga's crazy!
- Osgood Wilcox: White wine. Nothing like white wine. White wine should be drunk young.
- Fred G. Sanford: Yeah, I was drunk when I was young.
- Fred G. Sanford: [In the kitchen checking on the rump roast while Donna and Osgood dance in the living room] They ain't doin' nothin' but dancing.
- Lamont Sanford: Uh-huh. All I know is he's the dude with the dame and you're the chump with the rump.
- Osgood Wilcox: [Addressing Fred] I did 30 push-ups, 50 sit-ups, and jogged three miles this morning before breakfast. What did you do?
- Lamont Sanford: He read Dear Abby, stood up too fast and almost fainted.