- Bubba Bexley: [Describing a film to Fred] The part of the concerned father was played by that great athlete Charles Laughton, who played hunchback for Notre Dame.
- Fred G. Sanford: Uh, Bubba, when you talk, don't use your mouth.
- Lamont Sanford: Is this gonna be one of those conversations about the facts of life?
- Fred G. Sanford: Yes.
- Lamont Sanford: Whetre you tell me about the birds and the bees?
- Fred G. Sanford: No. I want you to tell me about the bids and the bees, 'cause I ain't been stung in years.
- Fred G. Sanford: Go on home, Esther, by yourself. See, you'll be safe 'cause it's "Be Kind To Someone Ugly Week."