Sanford and Son (TV Series)
Lamont, Is That You? (1973)
Davis Roberts: Dr. Caldwell
Quotes
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Dr. Caldwell : Mr. Sanford, are you suggesting that your son might be displaying homosexual tendencies?
Fred G. Sanford : No, I'm suggesting that my son might be turning into a sissy.
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Dr. Caldwell : [on homosexuality] No one ever died from it, you know
Fred G. Sanford : [referring to Lamont] Well, he'll be the first one if I ever find out something like that.
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Fred G. Sanford : [after asking the doctor to subtly quiz Lamont to see if he's gay] Could you tell anything?
Dr. Caldwell : Well, he feels that he had a dominant mother and that's generally a clue.
Fred G. Sanford : [worried] Then he is.
Dr. Caldwell : On the other hand, he shows no outward signs that would be revealing.
Fred G. Sanford : [relieved] That means he ain't.
Dr. Caldwell : But, he says he takes after his mother.
Fred G. Sanford : [worried] Then he is.
Dr. Caldwell : However, he likes the idea of a woman around the house.
Fred G. Sanford : [relieved] He ain't.
Dr. Caldwell : I didn't say that.
Fred G. Sanford : [confused] Well, what are you saying?
Dr. Caldwell : I don't know.
Fred G. Sanford : Well, what DO you know?
Dr. Caldwell : The one thing I DO know is... I don't know.
Fred G. Sanford : Well, what do you suggest?
Dr. Caldwell : I don't know. Let's just wait and see how things develop. Let me know if you detect any change in his speech or his behavior or his dress.
Fred G. Sanford : [worried] Don't tell me he gonna put on a dress.
Dr. Caldwell : [amused] No, Mr. Sanford. I meant his wearing apparel. That'll be ten dollars please.
Fred G. Sanford : I only got five dollars, Doc.
Dr. Caldwell : Well, when can I get the other five?
Fred G. Sanford : I don't know. Bye, Doc.