- Fred G. Sanford: [Lamont is dating Alice, whom might be his sister due to Juanita telling Fred that Alice is his daughter] Over a hundred million women in this country and the dummy had to fall in love with his sister!
- Fred G. Sanford: If I was to marry Juanita, and you was to marry Alice, Juanita would be my wife, your step-mother and mother-in-law, and Alice would be my daughter and step-daughter. Now that's just too damn much family in this little house!
- Lamont Sanford: Hey, I dance myself.
- Alice: Do you really?
- Lamont Sanford: Yeah, I can do the Robot, the Good Foot, the Booty Bump, the Crutch and the Hip.
- Fred G. Sanford: That don't sound like no dance; that sounds like a serious accident.