- Fred G. Sanford: [shouting through the door to collection agent Hamlin, who is threatening to force his way in] You'll be in a lot of trouble,' cause we gotta lot of friends in washington, D.C.!
- Lamont Sanford: That's right!
- [Suddenly puzzled, looks at Fred]
- Lamont Sanford: We have?
- Fred G. Sanford: We must have; it's 80% black.
- Fred G. Sanford: Oh, you can't take my refrigerator! That's where I keep my applejack. There's nothing in the world worse than warm applejack and no TV.
- Fred G. Sanford: Is that what you are, stuck?
- Lamont Sanford: Stuck!
- Fred G. Sanford: Well, you won't be stuck much longer.
- [clutches chest]
- Fred G. Sanford: Any day now I'll be goin' to join your mother.
- Lamont Sanford: Don't start that again!
- Fred G. Sanford: Then you can get a six-year old kid to help you. And it won't be Sanford and Son no more, it'll be Big Dummy and Little Dummy!
- Fred Sanford: We could have a little pork and beans now and a little zucchini later. Or a little zucchini now and a little pork and beans later. Or if you like the pork and beans, you can have them and I'll take the zucchini or I can take the pork and beans and you the zucchini so what will it be? Zucchini or pork and beans?
- Lamont Sanford: The oven don't work.
- Fred Sanford: Oh, in that case, we'll have some cold pork and beans now or...
- Lamont Sanford: Would you stop that?