- Lady Customer: [In the dress shop, a customer holds up a wool dress and turns to Fred] Uh, sir, what would your reaction be to this dress?
- Fred G. Sanford: A rash under my armpits.
- Grady Wilson: I've never seen Lamont act like that before. He's so calm, so serene and sweet.
- Fred G. Sanford: I know it. Maybe there was a full moon and he got bit on the neck by the Flying Nun.
- Grady Wilson: [Upon seeing Fred in a neckbrace] Wha, what happened to your neck?
- Fred G. Sanford: I had an accident in a truck.
- Grady Wilson: Ohhh, whiplash. Did they hit ya from behind?
- Fred G. Sanford: No. I was in a drive-in movie and I was tryin' to mess around with Fast Fanny and she hit me from the front. They call that "fistlash."
- Fred G. Sanford: What's that I smell?
- Lamont Sanford: Oh, that's probably my new cologne you smell, Pop. It's called "Days in Paris."
- Fred G. Sanford: Well, it smell like "Nights in El Segundo."
- Lamont Sanford: That's why you're you, and I'm me, and that's why I love you.
- [Kisses Fred on cheek]
- Fred G. Sanford: [Wiping kiss off] I don't play that.
- Lamont Sanford: Look, have you decided on what you're gonna fix next Tuesday night for dinner?
- Fred G. Sanford: Yes, I've decided. I'm gonna fix something new, something borrowed and something blue, because you're bringin' something old.