- Fred G. Sanford: Hey Esther, I got a gift for you too.
- [Hands it to her]
- Aunt Esther Anderson: Fred, this is just a piece of plastic wrap.
- Fred G. Sanford: No it ain't. Hold it up to your face.
- [She does]
- Fred G. Sanford: That's your Halloween mask!
- Fred G. Sanford: Here, Donna. I got your gift.
- [Hands her a long box, she opens it to show nothing in it]
- Fred G. Sanford: See, if you get a watch, you can put it in there.
- [Donna gives him a sad look; he hands it to her]
- Fred G. Sanford: I'm just kidding, Donna. Here's the watch.
- Donna Harris: [Looking at it] Ohhhh, isn't that niiiice?
- Aunt Esther Anderson: [Looking at it herself] Yeah, and I see that's it's exactly two forty-nine.
- Fred G. Sanford: It's not 2:49, it's around 6 o'clock.
- Aunt Esther Anderson: I wasn't talking about the time, Fred, I was talking about the price tag.
- Fred G. Sanford: Well, get your face out of the way before it stops.
- Grady Wilson: [Everyone hiding with the lights out to surprise Fred] Owww!
- Lamont Sanford: Grady, would you shut up and get behind the sofa?
- Aunt Esther Anderson: Who did that?
- Grady Wilson: Oh, I'm sorry, Esther, I thought you was a sofa.
- Fred G. Sanford: Hey, Lamont, I almost forgot about you. I got you a quadriphonic stereo!
- Lamont Sanford: Hey, all right!
- [Hands him the headsets used on the airplane]
- Lamont Sanford: Hey man, you need an airplane for these things to work.
- Fred G. Sanford: No, you don't. Put them on.
- [Lamont does, then Fred starts singing the Ink Spots into the other end]
- Fred G. Sanford: And would I be sure...
- Lamont Sanford: [Yanks the headsets off, then pulls the other end out of Fred's hand and he stops singing] What kind of gift is this to give your son?
- Aunt Esther Anderson: Yup, that's him.
- [sounding like a bird]
- Aunt Esther Anderson: Cheap! Cheap! Cheap!
- Fred G. Sanford: [Smiling] Hey listen to that? The sound of a chicken coming from a buzzard.
- Aunt Esther Anderson: That's does it.
- [Jumps up to attack Fred with her purse, and they all scrimmage to keep them apart]