- Lamont Sanford: [to Fred, who is building his tower] When I get back here tonight I expect this thing to be finished.
- Fred G. Sanford: Finished? Son, you cannot put a time limit on creativity. Did Mrs. Bell say, "Hurry up, man, and invent the telephone; I gotta call my mother"? Did Mrs. Edison say, "Hurry up, man, will you get that light bulb fixed, 'cause it's getting dark in here"?
- Fred G. Sanford: [to the scowling Aunt Esther] Let me tell you somethin', Esther. Every time I see you it makes me wish birth control was retroactive.
- Sandra: [Explaining an abstract sculpture] What you see here before you is, well, what's inside of the artist.
- Fred G. Sanford: Maybe he needed a physic.
- Lamont Sanford: [Beholding Fred's tower] This is an ugly mess that you made here, man.
- Fred G. Sanford: You don't know nothin' about judgin' art. You the only one in kindergarten that flunked Clay.