- Fred G. Sanford: I remember your wedding, Esther. Never forget it. Three ushers were crushed trying to help give you away.
- Aunt Esther Anderson: How would you know, Fred Sanford? You spent the whole night with your face over the punch bowl.
- Fred G. Sanford: Yeah, and when you took your veil off, Woodrow spent the whole night with his face over the toilet bowl.
- Aunt Esther Anderson: You just jealous because you didn't catch my garter.
- Fred G. Sanford: Well, that's because when you threw it, it was so stretched out you lassoed the band.
- Aunt Esther Anderson: Watch it, suckah.
- Fred G. Sanford: And at the time, the band was playing your song. Never forget it. The love theme from "King Kong."
- Fred G. Sanford: [Upon opening the door and impressed by a man in military uniform] I'm Fred G. Sanford, and the "G" stands for Guadalcanal. Wanna see my diary?
- John, Janet's Ex-Husband: Were you a veteran?
- Fred G. Sanford: That's right.
- John, Janet's Ex-Husband: Oh, did you see much action?
- Fred G. Sanford: Only on leave.
- Fred G. Sanford: It's all coming back to me now. I remember crashing into the Pacific in 1942.
- John, Janet's Ex-Husband: You mean a Zero shot you down out of the skies at Iwo Jima?
- Fred G. Sanford: No, a bigot threw me off the pier at El Segundo.